I Hear What You Say, But What Are You Telling Me?

I Hear What You Say, But What Are You Telling Me? is a fascinating, original, and invaluable tool kit filled with practical information and techniques for mediators who want to use nonverbal communication to their strategic advantage. Employing a proven process, Barbara Madonik--communication expert, mediator, and international consultant--reveals what it takes to understand, analyze, and utilize nonverbal communication to greatly enhance the mediation process.

Preface. Acknowledgments. Introduction. Communication Realities. A Blueprint for Nonverbal Strategies Maximizing Your Results. Part One: Essential Definitions and Practical Applications. 1. Essential Definitions-Terms and Tools. Systems. Cues. Language. Paralanguage. Levels of Awareness. Space. Touch. Time. Objectics. Symbolism. 2. Practical Applications-Representational Systems. Eye Cues and Patterns. Physical Cues and Patterns. Language Cues and Patterns. Paralanguage Cues and Patterns. Deciding on a System. 3. Practical Applications-General Patterns and Techniques. Understanding Messages in Patterns of Communication. Identifying Individuals' Cues and Patterns. Applying Nonverbal Techniques During Mediation. Part Two: Seven Steps to Getting Results. Step 1: Be Prepared. Planning Ahead. Having Useful Equipment On Hand. Gathering Facts. Step 2: Maximizing the Initial Telephone Contact. Physical Factors In Telephone Communication. Conversation Management. Paralanguage Nuances. Questioning. Step 3: Managing the Environment. Examining the Power Balance. Providing for Safety. Establishing Comfort. Conveying Respect. Step 4: Assessing the Parties. Knowing Yourself. Tracking the Big Picture. Tracking Detailed Information. Identifying Action Triggers. Identifying Working Frameworks. Step 5: Building Rapport. Engaging the Parties. Adjusting Your Responsiveness. Changing Communication In the Room. Configuring Productive Work Units. Step 6: Triggering Action. Coming Face-to-Face with the Real Issues. Enabling the Parties to Build Momentum. Dealing With Derailments. Encouraging Physical Movement to Change Mental Positions. Step 7: Bringing Closure. Helping Parties Make Productive Decisions. Presenting the Offer in a Compelling Way. Guarding Against Buyer's Remorse. Guiding the Parties To Craft the Final Agreement Jointly. Helping Parties Leave the Conflict Behind. Conclusion. Appendix A: Taking Your Own Communication Inventory. Appendix B: System Expressions. Resources. References. About the Author. Index.