Elephant in the Room

A systematic look at how relationships determine the success of leaders and their enterprises, along with tools to help strengthen and change them Since time immemorial, relationships have determined the fate of leaders. But today they are more critical to success than ever. No longer can leaders count on long time horizons or sloppy competition to make up for the inefficiencies that poor relationships create. Leaders must make decisions and take actions quickly and well with others, even those with whom they share very little?perhaps not even a time zone. This new world puts relationships at the center of what leaders must understand and master to succeed. Uses in-depth observational studies and clinical research to explore how relationships at the top of organizations work, develop, and change Shows how to understand, strengthen, and transform these relationships, so they can withstand the most intense pressures and conflicts This important book features a Foreword by Peter Senge, author of The Fifth Discipline.

Foreword ix Peter Senge Part 1 Understanding Relationships 1 1 Present and Unaccounted For 3 2 The Life and Death of a Relationship 17 3 It’s a Matter of Perspective 47 Part 2 Strengthening Relationships 67 4 Using the Heat of the Moment 69 5 Mapping Relationships 89 6 Focusing Investments, Managing Costs 119 Part 3 Transforming Relationships 131 7 Navigating Change Over Time 133 8 Disrupting Patterns 143 9 Reframing Each Other 173 10 Revising What You Know 197 Appendix A: A Guide to Behavioral Repertoires 231 Appendix B: The Ladder of Reflection 243 Notes 255 Bibliography 277 Additional Reading 287 Acknowledgments 291 The Author 295 Index 297