The We Deserve More Workbook

The workbook companion to We Deserve More—Navigate reproductive health systems and get the care you’ve always deserved The We Deserve More Workbook is the hands-on, practical partner to Nikki Sapiro Vinckier's groundbreaking, nonpartisan exposé on reproductive healthcare. We Deserve More unveils the root causes behind inadequate care and validates women’s frustrations. The workbook takes it further, giving you practical tools that will help you advocate for yourself, in the exam room and beyond. Vinckier is a nationally recognized OB/GYN Physician Assistant with over a decade of clinical experience, reproductive health creator, and founder of Take Back Trust. In We Deserve More, she takes on medical dismissal, rushed and inadequate care, and the quiet traumas that leave millions of patients feeling invisible in exam rooms across America. This workbook is organized around real-life reproductive healthcare situations—from first gynecological visits to navigating miscarriage, choosing birth control, addressing infertility, and accessing care in rural or hostile environments. Each chapter provides pre-visit preparation checklists, advocacy scripts for difficult conversations, reflective journaling prompts, visit snapshot templates, and scenario-based guidance. This is a resource you can reference before appointments and return to whenever you need to remember your power. Written in Vinckier's signature warm, direct voice, this workbook transforms insight into action, helping you build confidence, document your care, and advocate effectively in a system that wasn't designed to listen. We Deserve More and The We Deserve More Workbook offer: Step-by-step tools you can use immediately: Appointment prep checklists, advocacy scripts, visit snapshot templates, and much more. Guided reflection to clarify what you need: Journaling prompts that support you in understanding your experiences, identifying patterns in your care, and defining your boundaries, goals, and non-negotiables before you enter the exam room. Scenario-based support for real situations: Structured guidance for navigating common and complex reproductive health moments. Skills to strengthen your voice over time: Exercises that build confidence, help you practice difficult conversations, and empower you to communicate clearly with providers, even in rushed or high-pressure environments. This workbook is for anyone who has walked out of a reproductive health appointment feeling dismissed, unheard, or unsure of what to do next. It turns knowledge into action, giving you the structure, language, and clarity to participate fully in your care. The We Deserve More Workbook is a companion you can return to before appointments, during moments of confusion, and whenever you need a reminder that your health—and your voice—deserve respect.

Introduction xv Part One: Core Skills 1 These are the foundational skills that make every visit smoother, how to prepare, ask better questions, reflect after appointments, and navigate the system on your terms. Skill 1: Your Medical Snapshot 3 A template for summarizing history, meds, allergies, family history, and priorities so you walk in prepared Skill 2: Making the Right Appointment: Setting Yourself Up for Success 9 A clear guide to understanding the different types of visits—plus scripts and strategies to make sure you're booked for the care you actually need Skill 3: Preparing for Your Annual Exam 13 What to expect, questions to ask, scripts for when things feel rushed, how to prioritize your top concerns Skill 4: Planning for a Problem Visit 19 How to approach visits when you have a specific issue, how to frame symptoms clearly, how to advocate when you're brushed off Skill 5: Tracking Symptoms 23 A simple system for logging timing, severity, impact, and patterns so you can walk into your visit prepared with clear details Skill 6: The Art of Good Questions 29 How to phrase clear, concise questions that get real answers instead of yes/no responses Skill 7: Bringing Someone with You (or Not) 35 Guidance on deciding whether to bring a support person, how to prep them, or how to set boundaries if you prefer to go alone Skill 8: Outlining Your What-Ifs 41 Anticipate the unexpected and create a plan before you need one Skill 9: Reflecting After a Visit 47 Tools to process your experience and prepare for next time Skill 10: When Care Doesn't Go Right: Speaking Up, Salvaging, and Knowing When to Leave 53 Scripts to redirect in the moment, tools to process after, and guidance on when—and how—to find a new clinician Part Two: Real-Life Scenarios and Support 59 These are the real-life situations where the system is most likely to fall short. Each scenario gives you strategies, scripts, and reflection space so you can walk into care prepared—and walk out with more of what you need. Foundations of Care and Identity-Based Navigation 63 Scenario 1: Bringing Your Teen In for Their First Visit 65 How to model trust, support privacy, and set your teen up for a lifetime of empowered care Scenario 2: Being Overweight in the Exam Room 69 How to redirect bias, ask for inclusive care, and be treated as a patient—not a project Scenario 3: Trans, Nonbinary, and Intersex Gynecologic Care 75 What affirming care actually looks like, how to set boundaries, and what you can ask for before and during the visit Scenario 4: Navigating OB-GYN Care as a Black Woman or Birthing Person 87 How to prepare, advocate, and demand accountability in a system built to dismiss you Scenario 5: Navigating Gynecological Care with a History of Trauma 95 Tools to reclaim control, set boundaries, and access care without abandoning yourself Scenario 6: Mental Health Deserves a Plan 103 Whether it's pregnancy-related, cycle-related, or always there in the background, your mental health matters—and deserves real care Cycle Symptoms, Hormonal Shifts, Infections, and Pain Concerns 119 Scenario 7: Birth Control That Works for You 121 Whether you're starting, stopping, or switching—this is how to own the conversation Scenario 8: Break-Through Bleeding That Doesn't Make Sense 131 Irregular bleeding, spotting after sex, periods that won't stop—and no clear answers Scenario 9: Irregular Periods, PCOS, and Getting Real Answers 139 When your cycle is chaos, your symptoms are real, and "just go on the pill" isn't the answer you need Scenario 10: The Pain They Don't See: Endometriosis and Adenomyosis 149 How to get past dismissal and into diagnosis—real questions, real scripts, real power Scenario 11: When Vaginal or Urinary Symptoms Keep Coming Back 157 Yeast, BV, UTIs, STI testing, and how to advocate when symptoms keep coming back Scenario 12: Ovarian Cysts, Scary Pain, and Real Answers 165 Understanding the types of cysts, what symptoms matter, and how to build a follow-up plan that actually protects your peace Scenario 13: Menopause Misinformation, Hormone Therapy, and Being Taken Seriously 177 What to track, how to push past the "just aging" line, and the treatment options you deserve Sex, Fertility, and Family Building 185 Scenario 14: Sexual Health Beyond "Just Use Lube" 187 When your sexual wellness needs real care, not dismissive one-liners Scenario 15: Queer Sex Ed 195 Inclusive anatomy, safer sex, and reclaiming pleasure on your own terms Scenario 16: Family Expansion Conversations That Don't Assume 203 Whether you want kids, don't want kids, or aren't sure, how to take control of the narrative Scenario 17: Aging and Egg Freezing: What You Should Know 209 Not sure whether to freeze your eggs, track your cycle, or ignore the noise? Scenario 18: It's Time to Try: Getting Pregnant on Purpose 217 Ready to start trying to get pregnant or perhaps you just pulled the goalie, let's work on understanding your body, your options, and your next steps Scenario 19: Starting Infertility Conversations 225 When trying isn't working, here's how to ask for answers, get support, and advocate for care that doesn't treat you like a number Scenario 20: Same-Sex Family Planning and Single Mother by Choice (SMBC) 231 Questions to ask, paths to explore, and how to protect your parenthood Pregnancy Loss and Abortion Care 239 Scenario 21: Navigating Abortion by Choice 241 What to ask, how to prepare, and getting the support you need Scenario 22: Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR) 253 When a wanted pregnancy faces serious medical complications—navigating an impossible decision with compassion and support Scenario 23: Selective Reduction in Multifetal Pregnancy 263 What it means, how it's performed, and how to process both the physical and emotional layers of the decision Scenario 24: Miscarriage Management 271 What to say, what to ask for, and how to advocate when care is delayed or denied (includes scripts for when you're told to "just wait it out") Structural Barriers and Safety Nets 283 Scenario 25: When You Don't Have Insurance 285 How to access reproductive care without coverage, what's legally protected, and how to find sliding scale support (especially helpful for undocumented patients, students, or gig workers) Scenario 26: When You Live in a Rural Area 295 How to get reproductive care when the nearest clinic is hours away, telehealth is limited, and local options are few and far between Scenario 27: Living in a State with an Abortion Ban 301 How to stay safe, protect your privacy, and navigate reproductive care when your state restricts or bans abortion Scenario 28: Navigating Reproductive Coercion, Abuse, or Control 307 How to protect your body, your choices, and your safety when someone else is trying to control your reproductive decisions You Made It Through the Hard Part 313