Be a Man About It

Men are cracking under pressure.  Suicide rates are climbing. A loneliness epidemic is spreading. Conversations on things like erectile dysfunction, hair loss, body image, dating, fatherhood and more stay unspoken and silent.  The old blueprint for masculinity isn’t working, and it’s costing men their lives.  Be a Man About It dismantles these rigid, outdated rules that men are expected to follow and builds something better: a flexible version of masculinity that shows men, women, partners, parents and teachers a new path. Drawing on 40+ interviews with army veterans, athletes, professors, doctors, celebrities and men who nearly lost themselves, George Bell explores: Why a "silent pressure cooker" in men is reaching breaking point, and how we can release that pressure in healthier ways The hidden taboos keeping men isolated and struggling How to expand masculinity beyond tired stereotypes Practical strategies to handle emotions, setbacks, and difficult experiences without suppressing them "An absolutely fascinating enquiry into the nature of masculinity, coming at a time when it's really needed. Hats off to George Bell."  - Sir Stephen Fry, comedian, actor, writer, and presenter For men searching for a new blueprint. For women wanting to understand the men in their lives. For anyone ready to build a healthier version of masculinity. Further praise for Be a Man About It: ‘An essential read for our generation of men, rewriting the rules in a way that’s honest, freeing, and makes me excited for our future.’ - Tj Power, Sunday Times Bestselling Author & Neuroscientist ‘With sensitivity and insight, George offers both personal perspective and practical guidance, making this more than a book; it’s a lifeline.’ - Alice Hendy MBE, Founder of R;pple

Introduction xvii Part One: The Pressure Cooker 1 1. The Biology of Masculinity 3 2. The History of Masculinity 23 3. The Present- Day Cost of Emotional Suppression 33 Summary to Part One 41 Part Two: When the Pressure Breaks 43 4. Breaking Point #1: The Hidden Cost to Health Avoidance 47 5. Breaking Point #2: Addictions 69 6. Breaking Point #3: Disconnection and Displacement 95 7. Breaking Point #4: The Mask of Performance 125 8. Breaking Point #5: The Shame We Carry 153 9. Breaking Point #6: The Wounds That Don’t Heal 179 Summary to Part Two 203 Part Three: Releasing the Pressure 205 10. Release Point #1: Building Better Connections 207 11. Release Point #2: Bridging the Gender Divide 229 12. Release Point #3: A New Space for Masculinity 247 13. Release Point #4: Reprogramming the Feed 267 14. Release Point #5: Talking and Healing 283 Summary to Part Three 297 Conclusion 299 References 303 Signposting 313 Acknowledgements 315 Contributors 319 About the Author 321 Index 323