The Purpose of Boys

The final and conclusive book in the groundbreaking series on boys and their development In this climax to his series of landmark books about boys, Michael Gurian offers a powerful new program to help us give our sons a core purpose–a program based on building morality, character, career goals, the ability to form intimate relationships, selflessness, personal and community responsibility, and an accelerated process of developmental maturity. Gurian reveals how important purpose is for the success and happiness of boys and explains how a boy's core personality, nature, and genetic predisposition functions to create both strengths and weaknesses in their journey towards maturity. Includes an innovative program for support and interventions according to the unique needs, weaknesses, and strengths of each individual young man. This book is the follow-up to Gurian's bestselling The Minds of Boys Draws on the latest science and field research on how boys develop neurologically Gurian explores the unique issues boys must confront, and shows how their strategy for moral development and success in life is predicated on their nature and genetic predispositions.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS IX INTRODUCTION: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE, SON? 1 Competing Purposes 3 What Is the Purpose of Boys? 4 We Who Care for Boys and Men 9 PART ONE UNDERSTANDING THE PURPOSE OF BOYS 11 1 THE LOSS OF PURPOSE IN AMERICAN BOYHOOD 13 Why Parents Want to Provide Purpose for Boys 15 Moving Forward with New Vision 22 2 HOW LITTLE BOYS DEVELOP THEIR SENSE OF PURPOSE 25 The Empathy of Boys 26 Brain Differences Between Boys and Girls 30 How Boys and Girls Need Purpose Differently 33 Your Little Boy’s Need to Save the World 36 Asking the Deep Questions of Boys 42 3 HOW ADOLESCENT BOYS SEEK THEIR PURPOSE IN LIFE 43 The Young Seeker Among the Primitive and the Civilized 45 How Adolescent Boys and Girls Seek and Develop Purpose Differently 48 What Motivates Different Boys 57 Helping Our Sons Seek Respect in Adolescence 59 Moving Forward with a Map in Hand 62 4.SON, YOU ARE MY HERO 63 The Heroic Son 64 The Story of Joseph 66 The Story Ends, for Now 86 PART TWO HELPING OUR SONS FIND THEIR PURPOSE IN LIFE 89 5 CREATING FAMILIES OF PURPOSE FOR BOYS 91 Creating a Three-Family System: The Parent-Led Team 92 The Development of a Boy’s Sense of Destiny in the Family System 96 The Ten Values Tool 97 The Value of Teaching Sexual Purpose 109  Helping Our Sons Find Purposeful Work 115  Helping Boys Find Purpose in Their Media Use 121 A Boy’s Search for Freedom 128 6 CREATING COMMUNITIES OF PURPOSE FOR BOYS 130 The Loss of Communities of Purpose for Boys 131 What the Community Can Do for Our Sons 134 Forming Purposeful Communities for African American Boys 141 Changing Helping Professions to Focus on Boys’ Needs 151 Enjoying Communities of Purpose with Boys 153 7 CHANGING SCHOOLS TOWARD RELEVANCE AND PURPOSE FOR BOYS 155 How Boys Are Struggling for Purpose in School 156 Fixing the Mismatch Between Schools and the Purpose of Boys 158 Investing in Schools of Purpose 178 8 CREATING AND PROVIDING RITES OF PASSAGE FOR YOUR SON 179 Guiding a Son Through Male Adolescence 180 Developing Your Own Rite-of-Passage Programs 184 The “Here I Am” Rite-of-Passage Program 189 The Power of Purposeful Men 205 EPILOGUE: COMING TOGETHER TO ADVOCATE FOR BOYS 207 NOTES AND RESOURCES 211 BIBLIOGRAPHY 225 APPENDIX: RITE-OF-PASSAGE PROGRAMS 229 THE GURIAN INSTITUTE 235 THE AUTHOR 237 INDEX 239