You're Not a Failure

Stay connected through the tween and teen years, feel less alone, and tackle today's toughest parenting issues Do you feel like you are the only one struggling while raising your teenager? Academic stress, mental health, tech usage, competitive athletics, self-esteem issues, adolescent apathy, disrespectful behavior—it's tough to be a teen these days, and just as tough to parent one. If you're in the thick of it with your adolescent—or if you're getting a jumpstart on this difficult time—this book can help you untangle the complex challenges and improve your relationship with your kids. In You're Not a Failure: My Teen Doesn't Like Me Either, beloved parenting blogger Whitney Fleming empowers parents to shift their mindsets and approach their relationship with their teens with renewed optimism and understanding. There's no perfect guidebook for parenting tweens and teens because there is no one-size-fits-all approach that actually works when it comes to raising kids. Each parent-child dynamic is different, and each adolescent has a unique personality and challenges all their own. But mostly, raising adolescents means parents will learn about themselves—the good, the bad, and the ugly. With this book, you can flip the narrative about raising teenagers by taking control of your emotions and responses to create a loving, supportive relationship. This book will help you: Unpack and work through the complicated emotions, issues or traumas you may bring into the relationship with your big kids Stop trying to be a “good” parent—instead, become the parent your kid needs Let go of fear and anxiety to help your kids take risks and build resilience Manage and rethink your approach to social media, smartphones, and other unprecedented parenting challenges Learn how to break free from the common pitfalls that prevent many parents from helping their children thrive Challenge yourself and your family values, and redefine what it means to be there for your child in every way Overwhelmed parents of teens and tweens will find validation, encouragement, practical advice, and relatable humor in You're Not a Failure. Discover that you're not alone in your struggles, and find a way forward, for you and your child.

Introduction 1 Chapter 1 You Are Not a Failure if You Think Raising Teens Is Hard 7 Chapter 2 Unpacking the Boxes We Carry with US 17 Chapter 3 Middle School Is the Worst 33 Chapter 4 I Want to Raise More Than Good-on-paper Kids 51 Chapter 5 Whose Dream Is It? 65 Chapter 6 Soft Parenting in a Hard World 77 Chapter 7  Sometimes We Have to Let Them Try Stuff on 89 Chapter 8 It’s Not Always About the Phone: Managing Tech in An Always-on World 101 Chapter 9 Why Is High School So Hard? 119 Chapter 10 When You Feel Like a Bad Mom 137 Chapter 11 Managing the Emotional Roller Coaster of Raising Teenagers 155 Chapter 12 The Hardest Part of Raising Teens Is Letting Go 183 Chapter 13 How to Love a Teenager 193 Acknowledgments 209 About the Author 211